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太好過的橋

10 月 1 日,南塔克特的家庭扇貝季開始了。從有人記得以來,這一直是件安靜的事:幾十個穿著涉水褲的長住居民,幾個坐在小艇上的退休老人,還有幾個穿著爸媽涉水褲的孩子,在學怎麼用推耙。你在港灣另一頭都聽得到一顆扇貝掉進籃子的聲音。

今年,這裡有了內容。有人穿著當天早上才買的涉水褲擺姿勢,對著一支架在鰻草裡、裝在三腳架上的 iPhone 講話。一個做街訪的男人問路人扇貝到底該吃哪個部位,他的粉絲聚精會神地看著每一個回答。

現在是十月第三週。勞動節過後,島上應該要空了,現在卻沒有。我認真想過我們是怎麼走到這一步的,得出一個不受歡迎的結論。問題不在網紅、不在渡輪、不在打卡定位,也不在品牌招待行程。問題在於來這裡太容易了,而州政府正打算讓它更容易。

唯一真正管用的東西

每年夏天,全麻州只對一件事有共識:Sagamore 大橋是一場惡夢。它九十一歲了,四條窄車道,沒有路肩,碰上糟糕的星期五,3 號公路上的車陣會一路排向普利茅斯。大家圍著它安排人生。他們凌晨四點出門。他們星期四就出發。他們到現在還會提起那一年,他們在 Christmas Tree Shops 門口塞了三個小時。所有人都希望把它修好。

所有人都錯了。Sagamore 的塞車,是這片海岸上唯一真正管用過的東西。每個週末,它都會問每一個要去鱈魚角的人同一個問題:你到底有多想去?九十一年來,有相當多的人看著眼前的煞車燈,嘆口氣,改去緬因州。那不是失敗的基礎建設。那是毅力的考驗。

同時,那些希望鱈魚角被保存下來的人——保存它的特色、它的步調、它的道地——正是要求用更快的方式抵達那裡的同一批人。你不可能一邊愛著一個地方的慢步調,一邊堅持要快點到。塞車就是那個慢步調。那是你在鱈魚角的第一個誠實體驗,而且免費。

高架橋事件

想當年,Sagamore 圓環位在大橋的本土那一側,3 號公路、6 號公路和 6A 公路在一個 1930 年代建造的圓環交會。到了 2000 年代,在夏季的尖峰日,這個美麗的地獄小圓環塞進了 75,000 輛車。星期五下午,回堵長達好幾英里,一路經過那家電料行的車道口。當地人配合它安排辦事時間。觀光客逆向繞圓環。人人都說它是一場災難。它也很完美。

2003 年,Mitt Romney 的州政府提議把它換成一座「高架橋」(flyover):6 號公路往下沉,3 號公路從上方跨過,直接接上大橋。它在 2006 年 10 月啟用,造價 6,000 萬美元。州政府曾承諾,夏季星期六從 3 號公路過橋的時間,會從 27 分鐘降到 6 分鐘。一位州交通部門的副首長說,各方評價「好得出奇」,而大橋一帶的車禍一年內少了一半 。

當初反對的人警告過,進出更容易就代表更多開發,而他們說對了。老圓環旁的 Ye Olde Spirit Shoppe,老闆眼看著生意掉了一半,因為以前停在他店門口塞著的車,現在用高速公路的速度開過去。經營 Little Red Tow Truck 的人在七月中告訴《波士頓環球報》,生意「慢得要死」。那個圓環以前能讓一家拖吊公司忙上一整個夏天。

同時,其他所有人都從高架橋過來了。運河上的橋剛啟用那年,通行車次不到一百萬。現在一年超過 3,800 萬 。今年夏天,南塔克特一家店在櫥窗掛出「謝絕網紅」的告示 ,結果一位網紅跑到留言區,質問這家店怎麼還能自稱支持女性主義。我不是說這是高架橋造成的。我是說,沒有人證明過不是。

花 21 億美元放下吊橋

所以理所當然,州政府又要再來一次,價格是三十五倍。麻州交通部的 21 億美元計畫 是兩座新橋,車道更寬,有真正的路肩,還有像樣的匝道。工程在 2027–28 年冬季開工,所有車流在 2036–37 年冬季移到新橋上。二十億美元,每一分錢都用在讓更多人進來。

守門,就只是把門守好

南塔克特試過了。Sconset 懸崖步道是一條公共步道,沿著私人草坪的邊緣走,到了今年春天,它已經成了片場,大家在別人家的繡球花前面拍穿搭影片。Siasconset 公民協會提議裝設旋轉閘門 。鎮務委員會說不行,鎮公所也說它沒有法律權限限制公共通道。島上最後得到的,是早上 8:30 到晚上 7:30 的建議時段,沒有人非遵守不可,還有一群「懸崖導覽員」,他們可以教育你,但不可以攔你。

導覽員。為了一條步道。

本能是對的。位置錯了。閘門不該裝在旅程的終點,那時人家已經付了高速渡輪的錢。要裝在起點,在運河那裡,那時掉頭不用付任何代價。

闖關

所以,這是我的溫和建議。取消新橋,把 21 億美元退回去。然後讓過橋變得更難。

先把圓環照原樣重建,連沒有標示的出口都一樣。2006 年,也就是它的最後一年,大橋一帶發生了 128 起車禍,高架橋把這個數字砍了大約一半。大家說這叫進步。我說這是每年六十幾個從沒學到「去鱈魚角本來就該付出點代價」的駕駛。Little Red Tow Truck 的生意也回來了。

再來收過路費。運河上的橋從來不收費,這就解釋了很多事。一個收費亭,只收現金,只開最右邊的車道。排隊時拍影片的人,掉頭。拍掉頭的人,再掉頭一次。收費亭由導覽員駐守——這次是真的導覽員,有鎮務委員會不肯給他們的權力。

這樣會有幫助,但還不夠,因為橋還在。所以別再修它了。Sagamore 大橋九十一歲了,擁有它的美國陸軍工兵團幾年前就認定它已經老舊不堪。相信他們。別補了。哪條車道該封就封。每隔幾年把限重再調低一點。1914 年運河開通時,嚴格來說,鱈魚角就成了一座島。它也該開始表現得像一座島了。

會有人說這是菁英主義。不是。誰都可以過橋。只需要有在車陣裡坐得住的毅力,而有這種毅力的人,才是鱈魚角該有的人。我很清楚。我在國慶連假前的那個星期五下午三點過那座橋,開一台沒有冷氣的 Buick,從普利茅斯一路跟在一台船用拖車後面。四個小時。我沒拍。我沒發文。我就坐在那裡,像一個真心想去的人。

明年十月

想像一下明年的開季日。你又能從港灣另一頭聽到一顆扇貝掉進籃子的聲音。一個穿著爺爺涉水褲的小女孩撈起她的第一顆扇貝,唯一看到的人是她爺爺。那個做街訪的男人在 Bourne,正繞著圓環開第四圈,問旁邊那台車哪個出口往 Hyannis。

不會有人告訴他的。

Satire - This post is AI-generated for fun.

15 Comments

12,847 readers are commenting
Comments are reviewed by our editorial board before publication.
LH
Linda Halloran📌 Editor's Pick6 hours ago
CONCERNED: I have been a year-rounder in 'Sconset since 1987 and this post is the first thing in years that understands the Bluff Walk situation. Buddy and I walk it every morning at 8:30 sharp (the RECOMMENDED hour, not that anyone follows it) and on Tuesday there was a young woman changing outfits behind the hydrangeas at the shingled place on Baxter Road... you know the one. I asked the docent to do something and she handed me a brochure. A BROCHURE. Lt. Reynolds, the docents can't stop anyone but YOU can. EDIT: I voted for Mitt Romney and I will not apologize for it. Nobody told us the flyover was going to let people IN. EDIT 2: If they build the toll booth I will staff it. Cash only, I have my own folding chair. EDIT 3: My son says the man asking people which part of the scallop to eat has 400,000 followers. I asked him 400,000 of WHO. He did not have an answer. This isn't the island I moved to.
94·
GU
guest_44715 hours ago
ma'am you already have a folding chair for a toll booth that doesn't exist
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LH
Linda Halloran4 hours ago
I do not know who you are "guest" but I have screenshotted this. Lt. Reynolds, is it a crime to harass a taxpayer in a comments section? EDIT: The chair is from Marine Home Center and it is very comfortable.
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PK
pkarlsson6 hours ago
Interesting piece, but what the author is describing is essentially *induced demand*, and the flyover section is close to a textbook case. Downs called it the "law of peak-hour expressway congestion" in '62: add capacity to a congested road and peak traffic rises to refill it, because the queue was the thing doing the rationing. Duranton and Turner (AER, 2011) later measured it across US metros and found vehicle-miles rise roughly one-for-one with lane-miles. A promised drop from 27 minutes to six doesn't survive contact with the people who were previously going to Maine. Small nit: the "fewer than a million crossings to more than 38 million" comparison runs from the 1930s to today, so it's carrying eighty years of population growth and the Interstate system, not the flyover. The better evidence for the author's thesis is actually in the proposal he seems to think is the joke. Closing lanes and lowering weight limits is the capacity-reduction case, and Cairns, Goodwin et al. found a meaningful share of traffic simply disappears when road space is removed ("traffic evaporation"). The toll is a crude Vickrey toll. Vickrey's point, though, was that a four-hour wait behind a boat trailer is a price paid in time that nobody collects. A cash-only single booth just turns that into a slower queue. Price it by time of day and the Friday problem gets solved without the Buick. FWIW I built the admission-control layer for a payments API in 2019, and the turnstile paragraph is the most correct thing here. You reject at ingress, before the client has done any expensive work. Rejecting after the fast ferry is like shedding load after the database write. The Bluff docents are a Retry-After header with no enforcement, which in my experience clients treat about the same way. The rotary itself is a decent model of backpressure, if an unusually lossy one. Worth reading: Duranton and Turner, "The Fundamental Law of Road Congestion" (2011); Vickrey, "Pricing in Urban and Suburban Transport" (1963); and Downs, *Still Stuck in Traffic* — the last is long but worth it.
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BO
Bourne_n_Raised2 hours ago
"the rotary itself is a decent model of backpressure" bro the rotary has been gone since 2006, that's literally what the flyover replaced. four paragraphs and a reading list to rediscover tolls like that's a flex, nobody asked about your payments api
19·
BO
Bourne_n_Raised4 hours ago
stopped reading at "sat in front of the christmas tree shops" on a route 3 backup. the windmill one is on the CAPE side of the sagamore, you only sit in front of it going home on sunday, so lol no, nobody has ever sat there in a friday backup. did the author even go over the bridge or is this all from the globe
27·
BW
Brad Whitcomb3 hours ago
Friction is a feature. Read that twice. The Sagamore has been running the best customer-qualification funnel in New England for 91 years and nobody ever put it in a deck. Every Friday it asks one question: how badly do you want this? Most people answer Maine. That's not a bug. That's a moat. 4 takeaways for operators: 1. Put the turnstile at the canal, not the footpath. Filter at the top of the funnel, where turning around costs nothing. 2. A docent with no authority is a middle manager. Give them the booth or cut the role. 3. Ye Olde Spirit Shoppe didn't lose to the flyover. Its whole model was renting someone else's friction. Own the friction. 4. Four hours behind a boat trailer from Plymouth, no AC, and he didn't post about it. That's the work. $2.1B to remove a filter that was already working for free. Let that sink in. Personally I go wheels-up from Westchester to ACK on Thursdays. Different gate. Same principle. Curious — who else is building a rotary into their onboarding?
214·
GU
guest_44712 hours ago
"different gate. same principle." brad you flew over the gate
61·
HP
Hattie M. Pemberton@HattiePembertonHome · 263k3 hours ago
Hi loves 🌾 — such a meaningful piece. So much truth here. We were out on opening day with *Bramble* (5!) and *Wren-Joseph* (almost 3!) in their brand-new waders, tripod right in the eelgrass, and you could just *feel* how quiet the island used to be. The sweetest man doing street interviews asked our *Atlas* (7) which part of the scallop you're supposed to eat and he said "the whole thing!" and honestly? So many views. M. and I were talking over our Sunday slow-pour about how the drive is part of it. We left Old Lyme at 4 a.m. so the littles would learn the Cape is supposed to cost you something. 🤍 P.S. — our opening-day scallop vlog is up on the channel now, and my new course *Homestead Mama: Intentional Rhythms by the Sea* opens Friday. Use code **FORTITUDE** for 15% off. ❤️ Praying for the island. xo.
214·
GU
guest_44711 hour ago
hattie you are paragraph two 💀💀💀
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CM
Carol Mertens3 hours ago
The Christmas Tree Shops!! 😢 Bob and I stopped at the one by the Bridge Every Single Year on the way to my cousin Donna's in Dennis Port, I bought all my ornaments there and a Lighthouse Shaped Candle that I Still Have. They closed them ALL you know, my daughter-in-law Kristen says it was the Economy. I always say they don't make stores like that anymore ❤️ (photo of the lighthouse candle on my mantel next to Madison's school picture) Donna's husband Ray had his knee done in August, please keep him in your prayers 🙏 Amen and share if you remember the Christmas Tree Shops!! — Carol M.
41·
LH
Linda Halloran2 hours ago
Carol, this is a post about the BRIDGE. Ray is fine, I spoke to Donna on Sunday and he is already back on the bike at the Y. The candle can go on your own page. EDIT: And do not light that thing next to Madison's picture. It is a fire hazard and I have told you this.
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CM
Carol Mertens1 hour ago
❤️ Love you sis!! Ray will be So Happy you asked about him 😊 I will tell Donna you said hi. Don't worry the candle is Never Lit it's just for Pretty!! Bob says hi too ❤️🙏 — Carol M.
33·
GP
Glenn — The Sagamore Papers3 hours ago
The timing is the tell. The flyover opened in October 2006. Family scallop season opens October 1st. Twenty years, to the month. The author noticed. He just won't *say* it. Credit where due: this is the closest anyone in Cape media has come. But he still calls the flyover a mistake. It wasn't. "27 minutes to six" was never a traffic estimate. It was a *throughput target*. My wife's cousin ran the counter at the electrical supply store by the old rotary for nineteen years. The State's surveyors came in for marking paint in *2001*. Two years before Romney "proposed" anything. Oh, you didn't know that? Yeah. MassDOT is in on it. The Army Corps is in on it. "Worn out" according to *whose* report? The Christmas Tree Shops didn't go bankrupt in 2023. They were *closed*, because you can't sell a $2.1 billion bridge to people who still remember three hours in that parking lot. Little Red Tow Truck told The Globe business was "dead slow." In *July*. That's not a quote. That's a man reading off a card. The scallops are in on it. Ask yourself why a bay scallop needs two hundred eyes. All traffic moves to the new spans in the winter of 2036–37. Write that down. Connect the dots. Wake up.
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+0
+998 93 514 0726Telegram2 hours ago
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這個部落格上的文章,都是我在 AI 工具的協助下寫的。
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